


Then it's all my Fault, and let me fix it please

by orphan_account



Series: The Song of Heroes and Monsters [9]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Fluffy scene involving my obbessions with Supernovae, M/M, OCs - Freeform, Songfic, mentions of mpreg, mentions of rape/non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-24
Updated: 2013-11-24
Packaged: 2018-01-02 13:05:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1057116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>[Continuation of "We'll be Counting Stars"] After saying 'yes' to Khan's proposal, Jim starts to have doubts that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Then it's all my Fault, and let me fix it please

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Rraz45](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rraz45/gifts).



> Spreading gifts to people who continuously give me feedback x) Rraz45 this is yours :3
> 
>  
> 
> The last fic's song, the lyrics were Khan's P.O.V...It's the same in this one too. The next on will be Jim's P.O.V...I have the song ready ^L^
> 
>  
> 
> ._.' I've developed a habit of writing sad things to sad songs...

_“What if it makes you sad at me,_  
 _And what if it makes you laugh now but you cry as you fall asleep?_  
 _And what if it takes your breath and you can't hardly breathe?_  
 _And what if it makes the last sound be the very best sound?_  
  
 _“What if what I want makes you sad at me,_  
 _And is it all my fault or can I fix it please?_  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
  
 _“And what if it makes you lose faith in me?_  
 _And what if makes you question every moment you cannot see?_  
 _And what if it makes you crash and you can't find the key?_  
 _What if it makes you ask how you could let it all go?_  
  
 _“What if what I want makes you sad at me?_  
 _And is it all my fault or can I fix it please?_  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
  
 _“And if this be our last conversation;_  
 _If this be the last time that we speak for awhile,_  
 _Don't lose hope and don't let go,_  
 _'Cause you should know;_  
  
 _“If it makes you sad,_  
 _If it makes you sad at me;_  
 _Then it's all my fault and let me fix it please!_  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
 _'Cause you know that I'm always all for you._  
  
 _“What if what I want makes you sad at me_  
 _And if it's all my fault then let me fix it please_  
 _Cause you know that I'm always all for you_  
 _Cause you know that I'm always all for you”_

 

 

Silence is a horrible noise, Jim thought to himself.

It was late at night on the USS Vengeance, with the only sounds in the room coming from the soft breathing of the man behind him. It was the first time both he and Khan had ever slept together in the same bed, in the captain’s quarters, on a foreign ship. A concept that kept Jim awake long after Khan had fallen asleep.

Lying on his side, Jim turned his head to look behind him. Khan looked very different when he slept; his facade of a dangerous war-criminal was changed to a peaceful-looking man who had just let someone he claimed to love into his world. Jim paused. _It would be so easy to smother him,_ he thought. His brain was giving him evil notions, and the worst part was that Jim let this vile side of him continue.

 _He’s asleep now, just grab a pillow and smother the bastard,_ he listened to the voice, cringing slightly. _After everything he put you through, killing him would be the finest thing you’ll ever do. Do you remember all those years ago, Jim? That stupid plan you had of teaming up to take down Marcus. Remember how once Marcus and his men were dead, and your friends out cold on the floor, he took you like a pathetic dog-_

Jim’s stomach churned and he threw himself out of the bed, stumbling through the darkness to look out one of the lancet windows out into space. The usual black of space was draped with various shades of oranges, blues and greens as the Vengeance passed a supernova off in the distance. The colourful explosion sent many colours and lights into the otherwise dark bedroom, illuminating every crevasse.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?”

Jim flinched as Khan draped his arms around his middle, bringing him backwards to lean against his chest. He nodded in agreement, not trusting himself to use his voice as he felt Khan begin to kiss his neck. “What are you doing up?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Jim managed to say, tilting his head slightly to one side. Khan left a trail of light kisses up Jim’s neck and jaw, finally catching his lips in a slow, sensual kiss that the blond just couldn't help but reciprocate. Khan took Jim’s blanket that he had grabbed from the bed off his shoulders and threw it on the floor somewhere, never breaking their kiss until Jim suddenly pulled away. With his breathing shallow and his body trembling, he turned his head back around to look out of the window.

“James, have I done something wrong?” Khan said gently, looking down at the blond still wrapped in his arms. “James-”  
“-I can’t. I just can’t,” he finally said.

Khan turned Jim in his arms and saw tears falling down his cheeks. “Shh James,” he wiped them away. “Tell me what’s wrong.”  
“This! This is wrong!” he pushed Khan’s hands away. “I thought I could forgive you for what you did, but I can’t! Just there now, I was thinking about how easy it could be to kill you-”  
“-Yet you didn’t,” Khan stated bluntly, reaching out for Jim’s hands again. “You could have. But you didn’t.”

Jim shook his head. “I-”  
“-If you want, I’ll have someone escort you back to your room. I will not share a bed with you if you don’t feel comfortable-”  
“-No, stop that! Stop being nice to me after what you did!”

Khan was about to answer the blond when he heard a mission from the bridge. “Captain, are you alright?”  
“Yes Markus, I’m fine.”  
“But there seems to be-”  
“-Markus, I’m fine. Now continue with your shift before I come down there myself,” Khan barked at the communication.

The message ended and Khan ran his hand through his hair. “I’ll have someone send you back.”

Khan went to walk away from Jim back to bed but Jim grabbed his hand and pulled him into a kiss. When he pulled back, Jim looked into his eyes. “You didn’t tell?”  
“What?”  
“Markus. You didn’t tell him I was going to kill you?”  
Khan wrapped his arms back around Jim’s middle. “You would have great difficulty in that, James.”  
Jim smiled. “’Suppose.”

Khan traced the blond’s jaw with the knuckle of his index finger. “You know I would never harm you again,” he mumbled. “I only mean for peace.”  
“I know.”  
“Good,” he tilted Jim’s head up to kiss him deeply. “C’mon then.”

The augment led Jim back to the bed when they lay facing each other, tangled in each other’s limbs. Jim looked over his shoulder to the supernova in the distance and smiled when Khan turned him back around to kiss him.

“Forget about the outside world.”

Jim only nodded and closed his eyes, smiling when he felt one of Khan’s hands moving down to his stomach.

**Author's Note:**

> Songfic based on Safetysuit's song "What if"
> 
> The next songfic I'm doing for this series WILL be in Jim's P.O.V and will be the song "Fix Me" by 10 years. #crying. Did I just use a hashtag....I'll leave.


End file.
